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Brain Circuits
Three things I know: taking over the family business
How many times did I secretly wish for my father to leave the business and leave me the sole “Queen” on board? Ten years later, I cannot imagine working without him by my side – yet I do feel like I’m the “Queen” of my business. So, how, from my daughter’s/successor’s point of view, did we manage that? Here’s what I have learned.
1. You need to earn trust
My father loves me, but when I first took the job, he kept telling me how he had always been the first to arrive and the last to leave. I kept thinking how “20th century” he was, so I decided to show him how, in the 21st century, “you can do it all”, i.e., work and have a life balance. What I hadn’t understood was his underlying message: he was expecting me to earn his trust by working hard; if possible, by out-working him.
2. You must have (some) shared values
In addition to earning the trust of your family forbear, you must understand the core values of the person you need to impress or make an ally of and prove to them that you share at least some of them; they will esteem you even more.
3. Let them make mistakes
My father always told me he saw his mission as a father as staying on the lifeboat just a few meters away from his kids, ready to support us when we were hit by a wave. Of course, he could see the next wave coming. But as painful as it must have been for him – and even more so when it impacted the business he founded – he’d still let me charge straight into the wave. After all, we only really learn by making mistakes, don’t we? And every time, he was right there, helping me catch my breath and keeping me (and the company, incidentally) from drowning.
Key learning
As an owner, never forget that you also made mistakes, but you also learned from them. Create a space where your successor can do the same – coached by you.
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