Three tools to break the deadlock in high-stakes negotiations 

1. Take the tension out of the room

When emotions run high and the negotiation more closely resembles a power struggle than an effort by both parties to reach an agreement, one of the best ways to break the deadlock is to de-escalate by taking the tension out of the room. De-escalate by:

• Taking a step back through a simple shift in posture, such as angling your chair slightly or relaxing your facial expression to signal a change in approach.
• Tilting your head or nodding in agreement as someone else speaks to communicate your openness to dialogue.
• Thanking your negotiation partner for their willingness to collaborate, then verbally reinforce your shared goal.

Remember: Nonverbal reinforcement, when used to reward and reciprocate, is just as powerful as verbal affirmation. If the opposing party begins to relax their stance, it’s important to respond in kind, mirroring their posture, softening your tone, and maintaining a neutral or pleasant facial expression.

2. Establish trust

Trust is one of the main components of successful high-stakes negotiations. As the stakes rise, so does the complexity of trust. Re-establish trust by:

• Acknowledging the other side’s concerns directly.
• Matching your actions to your words.
• Delivering on promises and consistently demonstrating integrity.

Remember: In some cultures, trust is based on pedigree or reputation, while in others it’s established through demonstrating competence. The brain constantly evaluates trust, so it must be shown and not simply claimed.

3. Use back channels

If formal negotiations are no longer effective, you need an additional communication channel. Such “backchannel” negotiations are informal, off-the-record discussions that occur alongside formal negotiations. How to do it:

• Arrange a private phone call between two individuals.
• Ensure that information shared in such discussions is not openly disclosed in the main negotiation but remains off the record.
• Align the teams around the decision without exposing the behind-the-scenes discussions that led to it.

Remember: While backchannel negotiations are a powerful tool, it’s vital to ensure that nothing said or done during formal negotiations creates unnecessary hostility. A “scorched-earth approach,” where relationships are damaged beyond repair, can harm a negotiator’s reputation and make it nearly impossible to resume discussions.