
Six things no one tells you about becoming a leader
Becoming a leader for the first time can be isolating. Here’s what the management playbooks don’t tell you, and some advice on dealing with the new dynamic....

by Francesca-Giulia Mereu Published January 8, 2026 in Brain Circuits • 3 min read
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: that thing you do that doesn’t bother you might be systematically eroding your influence. Your absent stare during Teams calls. Your phone-checking in one-on-ones. Your habit of finishing people’s sentences because you’ve “already got it.”
Research on negativity bias reveals a startling ratio: one negative interaction on average requires four positive ones to rebalance the scales. Think about the ROI here. Every time you interrupt a colleague mid-sentence, you’re not just stealing 30 seconds – you’re creating a deficit that demands four future deposits of goodwill to offset it. Suddenly, that “harmless” habit becomes expensive.
Consider these common culprits:
None of these behaviors will tank your career. But they create friction – small paper cuts in your professional relationships that quietly add up.
This January, try an ROI-based approach to resolutions. Ask someone you trust, “What little habits do I have that make it harder to connect with me?” Brace yourself. Then pick one habit and work on reducing it (not eliminating it entirely – we’re being realistic here).
And don’t target the big stuff, such as “I snap at people when I’m hungry”, or “I micromanage when under pressure.” Start smaller – way smaller: “I’ll catch myself before interrupting”, or “My phone stays face-down in meetings”.
Track your progress for 30 days. Notice what happens when you allow a little more space for others to land their ideas, or when you signal “You have my complete attention”.
January gives us permission to experiment – everyone’s recalibrating, so use this window. Less interrupting. Less distraction. Less impatience leaking through your body language. More influence. More connection. More people actually hearing what you say because they feel heard first.
Identify one small habit to subtract this month. The math is simple. The impact isn’t.

Executive coach
Francesca–Giulia Mereu is an executive coach with over 25 years’ experience, specializing in personal energy management and leadership transition. She is the author of Recharge Your Batteries, a certified yoga teacher, and creator of the popular “Energy Check” online tool. She coaches senior leaders at IMD and through CCHN, the Center of Competence on Humanitarian Negotiation. She shares more energy-focused posts via her LinkedIn private group.

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