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Brain Circuits
How to stop trying to be a superhero and enjoy being a leader
Striving to be a superhero can have adverse consequences for leaders and the people they manage. Qi Zhang identifies the costs and advises how to eradicate the tendency to want to save everyone.
The hidden costs of overfunctioning
Constantly trying to “rescue” team members can quickly create dependency in others, leading to their underfunctioning and reducing team engagement. The more you do, the less your team members need to do.
This not only creates dependency but lowers motivation and empowerment, which can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Such a pattern can rapidly become a vicious circle. Drowning in tasks, you lack the time for effective stakeholder management, resulting in your decreased leadership visibility, fatigue, and impaired work and family relationships – and ultimately leading to burnout.
Use these tips to help others grow and restore work-life balance.
How to break the superhero habit
Recognize the signals
Learn to notice feelings of anxiety, heaviness, and work-related fatigue. These emotional cues signal that you might be slipping into your “superhero” pattern.
Create choice
When such signals appear, pause, reframe, and choose a different response to the situation.
Embrace the small
As a natural superhero, you are used to aiming high and moving fast – but that often puts you several steps ahead of your team. Break big goals into smaller milestones and celebrate micro-wins, helping your team build confidence and enhancing your connection with them.
Press pause
Introduce short pauses between meetings and moments of intensity to breathe, reflect, and reset, thereby shifting from “heroic doing” to human leading.
Learn to say no
Say no to projects that your superhero self would once have accepted without hesitation. Before jumping into action, ask: “Is this really my role?” and “Will this help others grow?”
Shift from battlefield to playground
Practice bringing curiosity, playfulness, and lightness into your work – and visualize the workplace as a place to play, not to do battle.
Set boundaries
Establish clear boundaries with team members and manage your time more intentionally, freeing energy to listen, ask questions, train, coach, and connect.
Questions to ask yourself
- How do I know when I am overfunctioning? Are there signals in my body, feelings, or relationships that I am taking too much responsibility and control?
- What are the hidden costs that overfunctioning is creating for my team or family?
- Who is paying these costs (me, my team members, my friends, or my family)?
- If leadership is about balance, where am I sitting now? What small shifts might bring me back to equilibrium?
Key takeaway
The tendency to take on more responsibility, control, or effort than is optimal often results in other people’s underfunctioning and impairs your leadership.
Authors
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