What’s going to happen to your family dynamics when you retire? 

1. Your partner proposes spending more time together now. You reply:

a. Yes! I’ve already booked us on a three-month cruise with your extended family.

b. Good idea – let’s have weekly brunch brainstorms.

c. Do you mean together together, or just at home at the same time?

2. Your adult child casually mentions moving back home “for a few months”. Your internal reaction is:

a. Great! We can hang out in a way we haven’t done for years.

b. Sure – as long as they understand this house still runs on a performance-review system.

c. This is how it starts. Next thing you know, I’ll be doing their laundry again.

3. Your grandkids call you “Papa CEO”. What’s your next move?

a. Buy matching monogrammed robes and host quarterly ‘Grandkid Strategy Summits’.

b. Build them a LEGO family organizational chart.

c. Explain that you’re not a CEO anymore (and boy, do you regret it).

4. Your spouse suggests you do more household duties. You respond by:

a. Drafting a household mission statement and assigning KPIs to the vacuuming.

b. Outsourcing laundry to a third-party vendor (aka the cleaner).

c. Faking a Zoom call until the topic changes.

5. At family gatherings, you:

a. Use your status as head of ‘the firm’ to mediate all internecine disputes.

b. Tell war stories from the corporate trenches.

c. Fall fast asleep in your rocking chair by 8:30pm.

What your results say about your readiness for new family dynamics

Mostly As: You’re the new family COO (Chief Off-duty Officer). Retirement hasn’t slowed your leadership; it has merely shifted your focus – in a good way.

Mostly Bs: You’re starting to adapt, but you need a different kind of strategy now.

Mostly Cs: Sounds like you could do with a family onboarding package – see below.

Four ways to navigate family dynamics

Redefine domestic roles

Retirement requires carefully renegotiating roles, responsibilities, and decision-making processes in the domestic sphere. This needs sensitivity to existing patterns and recognition that domestic efficiency may not align with corporate management principles.

Manage expectations

Retirement expectations often differ significantly among family members. These differences extend beyond daily routines to encompass fundamental questions about lifestyle, time allocation, and future plans. Resolving these differences requires the kind of strategic thinking you applied to corporate challenges, but with an added layer of emotional complexity.

Create new shared experiences

The development of new shared activities and interests is crucial in retirement. This requires building new patterns of interaction and finding fresh ways to connect outside the familiar context of business life. The goal is to develop activities that create mutual engagement while respecting individual interests and needs.

Maintain personal space

Preserving individual autonomy while increasing togetherness is a crucial challenge. This balance requires a conscious effort to maintain separate interests and activities while building a new shared life.