Don’t just do something – sit there!
Leaders are conditioned to leap into action to meet challenges. But what if remaining calm and simply listening is what the people around you need in such moments?...
Brain Circuits
Is your leadership blind to neurodivergence?
The ability to read people well is a key part of leadership. The challenge with neurodivergence is not empathy; it’s interpretation. Here’s how to manage behavioral differences constructively.
The cost of misalignment on cognitive culture
An American executive giving direct personal feedback in Japan isn’t “rude”, but as experienced leaders know, such feedback may be culturally misaligned. Neurodivergence is the same: behaviors that seem “difficult”, “unfocused” or “abrasive” may simply reflect a different cognitive culture that most leaders, no matter how experienced, have never been taught to read. The cost of this misreading is real: friction, disengagement, and contributions that never get heard.
Three moments, one pattern
- Daniel (Product Manager) explains a system change in exhaustive detail. His boss cuts him off, telling him to get to the point. But for many with autistic traits, thoroughness is the point: it reflects precision and risk management, not indulgence.
- Aisha (Head of Delivery) stands and walks around during senior meetings, which some colleagues find distracting. But for many with ADHD, sitting still is cognitively taxing, and movement helps regulate focus. It’s self-management, though it may be interpreted as disengagement.
- Marcus (Strategy Lead) responds to a client proposal: “This won’t work.” Blunt, yes. But directness is often a default communication style for those with autistic traits. It’s about clarity, not confrontation.
Instead of trying to diagnose behavior, design for difference.
The reframe: from judging to decoding
One question changes the leadership conversation:
Instead of asking, “Why are they doing this?”, ask: “What function might this behavior serve?”
This shift does not remove accountability. It rather refocuses it. Leaders distinguish more clearly between behavior that undermines outcomes and behavior that simply differs from expectation. Rather than triggering self-defense, feedback becomes more precise and lands better.
The broader implication is that high performance is built on alignment, not uniformity. When standards are defined around outcomes rather than behavioral norms, different working styles can happily coexist without compromising results.
Design for difference
Two people with the same diagnosis may present very differently. Labels can indicate patterns, yet they do not define how someone works. Instead of trying to diagnose behavior, design for difference:
- Make expectations explicit.
- Ground feedback in outcomes.
- Allow alternative modes of contribution.
- Invest time in understanding how each individual approaches their work.
Three moves to start
- Reflect: Think of a team member whose behavior has puzzled or frustrated you. What function might that behavior be serving for them?
- Act: In your next one-to-one, replace one evaluative statement (“You seem disengaged”) with a genuine question (“How do you work best in meetings?”).
- Explore: Talk things through with your HR partner, coach, or a peer with experience in neurodiversity, or use an AI assistant to help you map your observations before your next conversation.
Key learning
Neurodivergence is not a performance issue: it is a translation gap, and translation is a leadership skill. The same decoding that helps a leader read a neurodivergent colleague serves them equally to attune to individual and situational differences. When leaders shift from judging behavior to treating it as a culture worth understanding, richer collaboration emerges.
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Further reading:Â
Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel KahnemanÂ
Authors
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Don’t just do something – sit there!
Leaders are conditioned to leap into action to meet challenges. But what if remaining calm and simply listening is what the people around you need in such moments?...
A trust test for leaders
Trust is foundational in leadership, yet is more of a science than an art. Answer the questions below to assess whether an absence of trust is affecting your leadership. ...
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Master Cultural Calibration: open mind, explicit norms, and regular alignment to keep cross-border collaboration clear and productive....
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Learn Brain Circuits
Join us for daily exercises focusing on issues from team building to developing an actionable sustainability plan to personal development. Go on - they only take five minutes.
Â
Explore Leadership
What makes a great leader? Do you need charisma? How do you inspire your team? Our experts offer actionable insights through first-person narratives, behind-the-scenes interviews and The Help Desk.
Â
Join Membership
Log in here to join in the conversation with the I by IMD community. Your subscription grants you access to the quarterly magazine plus daily articles, videos, podcasts and learning exercises.
Â