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Brain Circuits
A trust test for leaders
Trust is foundational in leadership, yet is more of a science than an art. Answer the questions below to assess whether an absence of trust is affecting your leadership.
Trust test
- Do you hesitate to share your beliefs and opinions with colleagues?
- Do you often hold back on what you think or how you really feel about an issue, such as a work challenge or the performance of a colleague?
- Do you routinely withhold your innermost thoughts, opinions, beliefs, ideas, knowledge, or information from others?
- Do you find it hard to share your feelings and let colleagues in for fear that they will judge you?
- Do others struggle to be honest with you, even though you invite them to do so?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, the chances are that a lack of trust is impairing the quality of your interactions with colleagues and the caliber of the work you produce together.
To leverage the potential of our relationships, we must continuously test, interrogate, and challenge each other.
What trust does
Trust regulates risk-taking, experimentation, collaboration, information-sharing, innovation, and growth. Organizations create and realize potential where there is a culture of trust. In its absence, creativity suffers, engagement declines, the quality of outputs worsens, and undesirable outcomes proliferate.
Letting things out and in
Trust is built on expressing vulnerability with another person. This means accepting the risk of being hurt. Each time we make ourselves vulnerable, we risk being rejected, mocked, or scorned – but we need to show vulnerability and take risks to build the potential for trust. Once we do, there is a moment of reaction or reciprocation, where the other person may also show vulnerability. We can think of vulnerability in three actions:
- Disclosure
Revealing something about ourselves that others don’t know. This can feel uncomfortable, but it’s only through revealing our vulnerabilities that we move beyond seeing each other as roles or figures of greater or lesser authority, representations, or stereotypes. By sharing something honest about ourselves, we invite others to see us as humans with the same hopes and hang-ups as everybody else.
- Feedback
Honest feedback can be painful to give and receive, and our fear of rejection or reprisal moderates it. Often, we soften or edit feedback because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, provoke anger, or risk their disappointment – but reciprocal feedback in real time is a lynchpin of building trust.
- Provocation
Provocation requires reserves of vulnerability and courage. This is where trust-building can go wrong. It entails entering the other’s personal space and boundaries. They may be unwilling to disclose because they feel invaded or attacked, and their initial reaction might be highly defensive. Yet to leverage the potential of our relationships, we must continuously test, interrogate, and challenge each other. Moving forward means constantly questioning assumptions and beliefs.
A note of caution
There will be limits to what or how much you choose to disclose: oversharing or revealing too much can undermine your authority, and there will be times when circumstances dictate that you maintain some distance.
Key takeaway
Allowing others to glimpse your real, inner self helps to forge better connections and deeper trust. Understanding leadership and trust as complex, relational dances – shifting dynamics that do not remain static – is the point at which leaders start to learn and grow.
Authors
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