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Brain Circuits
5 myths about reading people virtually – and the seeds of truth behind them
We tend to make snap judgments about people based on what we see on screen. Here are five unhelpful myths that often cloud our perceptions in virtual meetings.
Myth #1: Body language is 93% of communication
What research shows: This statistic wildly misquotes Mehrabian’s seminal 1967 study, which only applied to inconsistent emotional messages using single words such as “maybe.” For factual content, words carry most meaning.
Seed of truth: Nonverbal cues do matter for emotional expression. Virtually, we compensate with verbal clarity, tone and repetition.
Myth #2: It’s possible to detect lies by reading body language
What research shows: When observed on slow-motion video, it is possible to detect micro-expressions and changes in voice and body language, but this isn’t evidence of guilt; merely a sign of uneasiness. According to research in Psychology, Crime & Law, accuracy here is no more than 54%, or coin-toss territory. Virtual settings compress and distort movements, so that flash of anger might be an unrelated response.
Seed of truth: We can train ourselves to observe body-language cues and spot brief expressions (lasting at least three seconds), but our observations are only meaningful if we notice the coherence between words, voice, and body language.
Myth #3: Playing with your hair, fidgeting or touching the neck = concealment
What research shows: When we feel insecure or impatient, we might show some of these behaviors – but correlation is not causality. We also fidget when bored, cold, thinking, or caffeinated. In a virtual setting, we only see people from the shoulders up.
Seed of truth: Stress creates tension, but levels of stress depend on the individual’s baseline – some move more; others are more composed. A “poker face” can be cultivated, so you need a cluster of behaviors, repeated consistently, to infer underlying attitudes.
Myth #4: Lack of eye contact means something is off
What research shows: In a 2023 survey of deception experts, over 80% agreed that liars and truth-tellers do not differ in gaze-aversion, and cultural norms vary wildly. In virtual settings, people look at their face, the chat, or wonder if the camera makes their nose look big.
Seed of truth: Nervousness affects gaze – but can signal anxiety, fatigue, neurodivergence, or unstable WiFi. Without a baseline, a single instance of “off” behavior means little (unless it’s an obvious one that is easy to interpret, such as shouting or crying).
Myth #5: Hesitation indicates lack of reliability
What research shows: Hesitation signals cognitive load (i.e. mental effort), not evasiveness. As lying becomes more mentally demanding, liars hesitate more than truth-tellers, but truth-tellers also hesitate when retrieving complex memories. In a virtual setting audio lag, a foreign language, or multitasking might be the culprits.
Seed of truth: Cognitive load affects speech, but the reasons need to be investigated. Is this hesitation simply this person’s norm?
How to read body language without resorting to myth
Myths persist because they feel intuitive. When it comes to body language, there’s no simple equation. The real question – especially in virtual meetings – is not, “Can I spot insincerity?” but “How can I build trust to reduce misunderstanding?” Next time you try to read someone’s behavior, follow these simple rules:
- Make sure you know their baseline.
- Look for clusters (multiple behaviors pointing in the same direction).
- Watch for coherence (repeated patterns).
- Check your assumptions (what else could explain this?).
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