The math of annoyance
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: that thing you do that doesn’t bother you might be systematically eroding your influence. Your absent stare during Teams calls. Your phone-checking in one-on-ones. Your habit of finishing people’s sentences because you’ve “already got it.”
Research on negativity bias reveals a startling ratio: one negative interaction on average requires four positive ones to rebalance the scales. Think about the ROI here. Every time you interrupt a colleague mid-sentence, you’re not just stealing 30 seconds – you’re creating a deficit that demands four future deposits of goodwill to offset it. Suddenly, that “harmless” habit becomes expensive.
The small stuff that isn’t small
Consider these common culprits:
- The premature conclusion: Cutting people off because you’ve connected the dots (news flash: sometimes you connected the wrong dots).
- The digital drift: Glancing at your screen during face-to-face conversations, signaling “this isn’t worth my full attention”.
- The late arrival: To you it’s only a minute or two (and sometimes you’re even on time), but to others it signals that your time is more important than theirs.
None of these behaviors will tank your career. But they create friction – small paper cuts in your professional relationships that quietly add up.
Your subtraction strategy
This January, try an ROI-based approach to resolutions. Ask someone you trust, “What little habits do I have that make it harder to connect with me?” Brace yourself. Then pick one habit and work on reducing it (not eliminating it entirely – we’re being realistic here).
And don’t target the big stuff, such as “I snap at people when I’m hungry”, or “I micromanage when under pressure.” Start smaller – way smaller: “I’ll catch myself before interrupting”, or “My phone stays face-down in meetings”.
Track your progress for 30 days. Notice what happens when you allow a little more space for others to land their ideas, or when you signal “You have my complete attention”.
The beginning-of-year advantage
January gives us permission to experiment – everyone’s recalibrating, so use this window. Less interrupting. Less distraction. Less impatience leaking through your body language. More influence. More connection. More people actually hearing what you say because they feel heard first.