Slow down! Why doing too much is not helping you or your team

The coaching journey

Frances decides to seek the help of an executive coach. Her question is simple: Why do I keep taking on more, even when more delivers less?

Listening to her story, the coach wonders if she might be trapped inside the “hero syndrome” – an instinctive need to consistently raise the bar, do more, achieve more, aim big, and “save the world”. This fits with the “superwoman” label Frances has earned from colleagues and brings to light some surprising insights.

The coach talks about overfunctioning – a tendency to take on more responsibility, control, or effort than is optimal, which often compensates for or results in other people’s underfunctioning. Unintentionally, overfunctioning unbalances the system by limiting the growth and ownership of other team members.

Frances and her coach trace the roots of this pattern to the birthplace of her leadership style. When she was eight, her mother fell seriously ill. Overnight, Frances had to step into the role of caretaker, tending to her mother’s needs and those of her siblings. She has learned to suppress her own feelings, equating being responsible with being loved and valued. This early narrative has become the blueprint of her leadership: “If I take care of everyone, fix all the problems, everything will be OK and I will be worthy.”

Frances begins to see the hidden cost of her “heroine” leadership style. Her constant “rescuing” has created dependency in others and led to underfunctioning and reduced engagement in her team. The more she does, the less they need to do. This creates resentment as team members lack a sense of motivation and empowerment. Frances, too, feels resentment. She feels that she does all the work while others take the credit or settle for mediocrity. Drowning in tasks, she lacks the time for effective stakeholder management, resulting in decreased visibility. This cycle has drained her energy, eroded her family life and sense of joy, and opened the door to burnout.

Now Frances realizes that if she dials down her engagement by 20–30%, she will gain time not only for coaching her team and managing stakeholders, but also for other parts of her life. She can work smarter, not harder. This is a breakthrough moment – Frances understands that she has a choice. She can continue to overfunction like Sisyphus, endlessly pushing the boulder uphill alone, or she can embrace a new image: an expedition sailboat, where she and her team travel toward their shared destination with collective effort and balance.

With her coach, Frances begins experimenting with interventions to shift her overfunctioning pattern:

1. Recognize the signals and create choice

   Frances learns to notice cues such as feelings of anxiety and heaviness, especially in her head, as if wearing a helmet or armor. These sensations signal that she is slipping into old patterns. When they appear, she can pause, reframe, and choose a different response.

2. Embrace the small

   As a natural superwoman, she is used to aiming high and moving fast. She now realizes she is often several steps ahead of her team. By breaking big goals into smaller milestones and celebrating micro-wins, she can help her team build confidence and enhance their connection.

3. Build ‘air’ or pause time

   Before saying yes or jumping into action, Frances can pause to ask herself: “Is this really my role?” and “Will this help others grow?” She introduces short pauses between meetings and moments of intensity to breathe, reflect, and reset, thereby shifting from “heroic doing” to human leading.

4. Shift from seriousness to playfulness

   To ease performance pressure, Frances practices bringing curiosity and lightness into her work. Together with her coach, she visualizes the workplace not as a battlefield but as a playground. She pictures a seesaw, representing the balance of responsibility between herself and others – the fun and flow coming from taking turns going up and down.