Published January 16, 2026 in Governance • 7 min read • 
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The greatest impact comes from sitting in the front row, not standing on stage – doing everything possible to help the performers shine
A boardroom can look a lot like companies that we’ve led – the same people, the same strategies – but the kind of leadership it demands is completely different. After a decade as a CEO and more than 10 years serving on and chairing boards, it became clear that many of the qualities that make you a good CEO don’t necessarily make you a good chair. The boardroom is a different place – slower, more reflective, and focused on helping others succeed.
I often say I got it all wrong before I began to get it right. Board leadership demands a different kind of conduct – one that makes collaboration more productive, handles conflict constructively, and supports others in delivering their best. Those skills took time, and more than a few missteps, to develop. When people ask what the biggest lessons have been, they often expect a conversation about artificial intelligence or digital disruption. The real transformation, however, has been far more personal.
The most valuable lessons didn’t come from governance codes or handbooks, but from experience: from meetings that didn’t work, from misjudged situations, and from understanding that leading peers is very different from leading a team. Here are five lessons that continue to shape how I approach the boardroom.
Conflict is not a problem. Conflict is the work. For a long time, it wasn’t clear to me what good confrontation looked like. There seemed to be only two options: being nice or being nasty. In reality, there’s a third way – confrontation handled with integrity. It’s possible to disagree without being disagreeable. The goal isn’t to win or avoid the fight, but to have the courage to say, “I don’t agree, and here’s why,” and then stay in the room to work it through.
On one board, a decision came to a vote that I simply couldn’t support. Not to be difficult, but because it mattered for the company’s long-term interests. I told my colleagues: “I’m not resigning. I’m staying because I care about this board’s success. But I’m voting no, because a year from now you might wish someone had.” That kind of courage can be uncomfortable, yet it clears the air. It also reminds everyone that the purpose of a board isn’t to be aligned like a management team. It’s to deliberate, challenge, and ultimately decide what’s best for the organization.
As chair, it has become a habit to ask, “Who came into this meeting with a different view?” If no one did, that’s not harmony – it’s a red flag. Diversity of thought is the lifeblood of good governance.
When boards fail to function well, the problem often begins with the dynamic between the chair and the CEO. If the chair dominates the discussion or the CEO takes up all the space, the rest of the board can’t do its job. The relationship between the chair and CEO sets the tone for everything, and it must be built on trust and truth-telling.
The guiding principle is simple: 95% of a chair’s energy should go into making the CEO successful. That means being invisible in public and relentlessly constructive in private. The remaining 5% – the authority to replace the CEO – exists only because shareholders entrust the board with that responsibility. It’s not about power; it’s about accountability.
Across different boards, both extremes have appeared. Some operate like tribunals, with the chair waiting to “barbecue” management at the first mistake. Others foster genuine trust between the chair and the CEO, creating a culture where management can bring problems as openly as successes. That’s when real governance happens.
Healthy board culture isn’t defined by the loudest voice in the room, but by the quality of conversation. When people speak with respect, listen carefully, and challenge thoughtfully, the work becomes not only more effective but far more rewarding.
“The relationship between the chair and CEO sets the tone for everything, and it must be built on trust and truth-telling.”
Boards that start launching rockets from left, right, and center, suggesting new products, new markets, or operational fixes, only create confusion.
Governance is one of the most overused words in business, but at its core, it just means clarity about who has the right to decide. The best boards make as few decisions as possible, but they make them well. Day-to-day operations belong with the CEO and management team. The board’s role is to focus on a few crucial areas: appointing and developing the CEO, setting direction and high-level strategy, defining values and culture, and maintaining the integrity of the governance system itself. Everything else belongs to management.
Boards that start launching rockets from left, right, and center, suggesting new products, new markets, or operational fixes, only create confusion. A mature board knows when to add value and when to stay silent. The real test of good governance isn’t how much a board talks, but how clearly it understands who decides what.
When I first started chairing boards, I didn’t ask for feedback. I wanted to look competent and in control. But over time, I realized that’s the wrong instinct. Feedback is one of the most important parts of leadership. An advisor once remarked that a CEO should be like a finely tuned piano – able to play all the keys, adapting tone and tempo to each moment. The same applies to chairs. The difference is that you don’t get to decide whether you’re in tune; only others can tell you.
Inviting colleagues to point out when something feels off – a gesture, a tone, an imbalance in discussion – builds trust. Sometimes it’s as small as turning away from someone while speaking; sometimes it’s allowing one voice to dominate. It’s impossible to be in tune all the time, but it’s possible to stay in rhythm with each other. The best boards are like good ensembles: each player distinct, yet all listening closely.
Letting go of ego may be the hardest shift for any former executive.
Letting go of ego may be the hardest shift for any former executive. Most board members are invited because they’ve achieved something significant. Yet the moment a seat is taken, those achievements stop being relevant. From that day on, it’s no longer about the individual. The role is to listen, support, and guide – not to perform.
When companies fill boards with “big names,” it’s often a red flag. Such boards tend to become performances rather than places for thoughtful governance. The greatest impact comes from sitting in the front row, not standing on stage – doing everything possible to help the performers shine. Once personal visibility ceases to matter, the focus shifts to what truly counts: collective success.
Leading a board requires humility, discipline, and care.
These lessons apply across every kind of board I’ve worked with – private, family-owned, foundation, or public. The structures vary, but the principles don’t.
Leading a board requires humility, discipline, and care. It’s about creating space for disagreement, ensuring clarity in decisions, and building confidence for those who have to carry them out. It’s about being able to say, “I don’t know,” as comfortably as, “Here’s what I think.”
The moment the need to be the smartest person in the room disappears, chairing became far more rewarding. Leadership in the boardroom is about enabling others to perform. Once that understanding took hold, the work stopped feeling like a performance – and started feeling like a privilege.
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