by Vanina Farber Published June 4, 2026 in Brain Circuits • 3 min read
Rather than assuming hostile intent, lead with genuine curiosity. When someone objects to DE&I language, asking, “What concerns you?” or “Help me understand what worries you about this,” can reveal underlying anxieties that differ significantly from assumed motivations.
Labeling individuals as problematic typically triggers defensiveness and shuts down dialogue. Instead, identify the impact or feeling created by the conversation. Acknowledging, “I realize we’re talking past each other,” or “This conversation feels stuck; can we try a different angle?” focuses on the dynamic rather than attacking character, creating opportunities to reset and reconnect.
The word “but” negates everything preceding it, signaling concerns haven’t been heard. Compare, “Your political concerns are valid, but we need to consider inclusion” with “Your political concerns are valid, and we also need to address workplace discrimination.” The linguistic shift acknowledges multiple truths simultaneously: “We value efficiency, yet we also need inclusive practices,” holds complexity rather than erasing it, modeling the paradoxical thinking required in polarized environments.
In psychologically safe environments, describing how specific situations or comments affect you personally can build understanding. However, this strategy requires careful judgment about context and audience receptivity. For example, “When diversity goals were removed from performance reviews, it sent a signal to my team that this isn’t a priority” is harder to dismiss than, “You don’t care about diversity.” In hostile environments or those with power imbalances, use third-party language instead.
When conversations stall on philosophical disagreements, shifting to action often breaks the impasse. Questions like, “What small step could we take forward?”, “Where do we agree?” or “What would make this workable?” move from abstract principles to concrete possibilities, reducing pressure while maintaining momentum.
Not every conversation is productive. When discussions become vitriolic or threaten psychological or physical safety, protecting yourself and others takes priority. Sometimes the appropriate response is, “Let me think about that, and we’ll talk later,” or simply removing yourself from a hostile situation entirely. Remember: your job isn’t to change every mind – it’s to choose battles strategically and preserve capacity for fights where you have actual leverage. Exiting doesn’t mean abandoning values; it means choosing the time, place, and conditions to advocate for them.
When diversity goals were removed from performance reviews, it sent a signal to my team that this isn’t a priority.
DE&I conversations aren’t about convincing anyone. They’re about staying in dialogue long enough for learning to happen. This requires recognizing that explicit DE&I language can trigger resistance, while maintaining commitment to workplace equity and inclusion.
Speaking up and staying strategic: DE&I engagement in polarized times
The value of LGBTQ+ inclusion in today’s uncertain DE&I landscape
Why LGBTQ+ inclusion still drives economic performance
elea Professor of Social Innovation, IMD
Vanina Farber is an economist and political scientist specializing in social innovation, sustainability, impact investment and sustainable finance. She also has almost 20 years of teaching, researching and consultancy experience, working with academic institutions, multinational corporations, and international organizations. She is the holder of the elea Chair for Social Innovation and is the Program Director of IMD’s Executive MBA program and IMD’s Driving Innovative Finance for Impact program.
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