Your best leadership case study? Yourself!

Understanding emotional triggers

In 25 years of running an executive education program designed to develop high-performance leaders, I have observed countless examples of unresolved loss and grief derailing leadership potential. Rather than learning from such experiences, most people bury them. This repression can manifest in impatience, angry outbursts, or the inability to trust your team – yet trust is key to high-performance leadership.

To avoid falling foul of these emotional triggers and the unhelpful leadership behaviors they foster, you first need to understand how your past shaped you.

Self as case study

To take myself as a case study, after eight years at a Catholic seminary I struggled to face the truth that I wanted to leave. I was paralyzed by indecision until a confidant at the seminary told me I was free to choose to do what I wanted. This trial was what Warren Bennis has described as one of the “crucibles of leadership” – an intense, often traumatic experience that rewires your brain and transforms your life.

But such foundational leadership experiences don’t have to be dramatic. They can include being passed over for a promotion, working for a difficult boss, or feeling alienated in a foreign culture. What matters is how you interpret, find meaning in, and adapt to potential setbacks.

Tips on being a high-performing leader

• Don’t overfocus on goals

My experience as a hostage negotiator taught me never to give ultimatums to the hostage-taker. Instead, establish a connection through dialogue. This works: hostage negotiation has a 95% success rate.

• Become a secure base for others…

Creating trust and forming strong bonds helps you make quick decisions and enables employees to take risks and seize new opportunities.

• … but don’t shy away from conflict