Don’t just do something – sit there!

Reflective inaction

Of course, there are plenty of times for action – for reviewing what went right or wrong and drawing lessons, or looking ahead to see what path to follow. But there is also a time for ‘reflective inaction’: staying in the present, listening intently, and resisting that natural but often unhelpful leadership impulse to provide immediate solutions.

Typically, however, managers enter the conversation flooded with what British psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion identified as memory and desire – memory of what has (or hasn’t) been achieved by their direct report, usually in direct relation to a set of agreed objectives, and desire to give feedback that will return them to the right path. It’s about judgement and action, and it makes people in the workforce understandably nervous.

How to lead with stillness

Managers can fall prey to the ‘myth of rationality’ when steering a team through a change process. This is the tendency to believe that all parties are rational and can appreciate the need for change, even if it affects them negatively. Any resistance is a form of drag that can be overcome through persuasion and persistence – but this misses the emotional undertow of change efforts. Change inevitably causes anxiety: people worry about job security, status, and fitness for new roles. This anxiety can lead to unhelpful behaviors, including lack of trust in leadership and disengagement. The following tips can help manage the anxiety:

• Give people the space to express what might be going on for them that could be affecting their performance.
• Listen attentively and empathetically without memory or desire.
• Focus on asking probing (but not challenging) questions that allow people to work out why something is not working for themselves.
• Instead of mandating a ‘top-down’ imperative, devise a better way forward together.
• Don’t ignore the need to listen for fear it will slow the change process: a temporary slowdown often improves the long-term prospects for success.