The Courage Ladder
The psychologist Stanley Rachman is a pioneer in understanding the mechanisms of fear. His work helps clarify how fear can be attenuated through controlled, repeated, and graduated exposure to stimuli.
The idea is that we can develop greater tolerance for fear through habituation: by experiencing it repeatedly and to intensifying degrees, we gradually loosen its paralyzing hold over our choices and actions.
The key is not to rush at the big thing first, but to build resilience gradually in lower-stakes settings, working through each experience, then reflecting on how it felt and what we learned, and how we came out on the other side and survived the exercise. Based on this, Iāve developed a tool I call The Courage Ladder (Figure 1).
Climbing your own courage ladder means starting on the bottom rungs, where risks feel most manageable, and gradually building capacity through increasingly braver actions as you progress toward the top.
Taking measured, systematic steps up the ladder trains your courage muscle. You start with small acts of bravery ā e.g., setting boundaries around the timings of meetings or not responding to emails on weekends.
Ideally, you have also acquired specific tools to support your actions, such as a communication framework or an emotional regulation technique.
You reflect on how it went, what you learned, the interactions you had, the behaviors you deployed, and your own reactions.
A critical lesson is that you got through it: you can live with discomfort, awkwardness, distress, and even anxiety, and move past them.
As you ascend your ladder, habituation and learning equip you to manage your responses more effectively and build the resilience you need to meet the bigger challenges head-on.
Take heart. In my many years of working with leaders, there is one phrase I hear more than almost any other: āThat was way less scary than Iād made it out to be.ā Also incredibly common is: āIām glad I did it and have no regrets.ā
Time and time again, through practice and lived experience, people discover that being courageous is less terrifying and a much bigger boost to our self-esteem than we imagine. As psychologist Susan Jeffers put it: āFeel the fear and do it anyway.ā