Time for some healthy discomfort
Of course, these types of discussions will not make for comfortable listening for all. But, honestly, if everyone is very comfortable during DE&I conversations, then these conversations are not going deep enough. To tell people that their world view on a particular matter might not be universally valid, and in fact might be completely wrong, should be a source of discomfort. In my experience, the discomfort, grief and often rejection of the whole conversation comes from those who have historically been in privileged positions, and who are now made aware of that privilege.Â
I always prepare executives for such discomfort, grief, and rejection, and recommend that they engage with it, ask where it comes from, and deal with it. For example, I often observe that talented executives do not feel uncomfortable during DE&I conversations, knowing that they would be successful regardless of any conditions they face. Others, who might perceive that their success could have been aided by who they are, rather than their talent, are more likely to exhibit annoyance, resistance and attempt to justify the status quo. It’s therefore important to acknowledge those feelings and concerns, and explore together where they come from, and how they can be handled.
This is the difference between single and double loop learning, a theory first put forward by Chris Argyris. Single loop learning, Argyris wrote, is equivalent to a thermostat which will turn down the heating when a certain temperature is reached. It is engaging with a problem from a reactive standpoint, falling back on previous experience. Double loop learning would allow the thermostat to go a level deeper and question itself as to whether it should be set at a fixed temperature. It allows participants to take a step back and challenge underlying assumptions and reverse the process that leaves organizations with “the inability to uncover errors and other unpleasant truths.” Through proper discussion, the problems themselves become an opportunity for reflection and a way to implement change.
The process is akin to engaging in a therapeutic conversation, trying to pinpoint what are the actual concerns and where the anger and alienation stems from. If that can be established, it is easier to alleviate it in a way that benefits all. This calls for a complex set of conversations, and, once again, preparing your executives for such complex conversations should be at the heart of your DE&I training.