Meet the Magnificent 7 of scaling
Discover the seven essential disciplines that help leaders scale with discipline, focus, and strategic mindset....
Brain Circuits
Time for a change? Begin here
Change can be hard. Here’s a few tips on getting going.
Getting a head start
Be honest about your hidden agendas
We all want to be fit and healthy, and to be present in our relationships – but often our change goals and our behaviors are not aligned, due to what Harvard psychologists Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey call “competing commitments.” This is when we are unconsciously committed to something more than the thing we consciously want to change. Such “blockers” are often due to deeply held identities. For example, the inability to delegate – even though you know it makes sense – might be down to a deep-rooted need to feel important, needed, and in control. Being honest about your competing commitments won’t automatically resolve them, but can surface the real problem you need to tackle.
Expect to feel uncomfortable
When we try to think or act differently, it can feel awkward or wrong at first – as if we’re pretending to be someone we’re not. That feeling does not signify the change is wrong for you; rather, it means your brain is working hard. Research by Wendy Wood and colleagues finds that up to 43% of our daily behaviors are “habitual,” running on well-worn neural pathways built over years. New behaviors require new pathways, which only form through repetition – and the discomfort is part of the process.
The people around you shape what feels normal, possible, valued, and worth
doing.
Practical tips
- Make it tiny
The two-minute rule suggests that any new habit should take under two minutes to begin with – not run three miles, but lace up your running shoes. Showing up consistently matters more than the size of the action.
- Stack your habits
Attaching a new behavior to an existing one leverages the cue of a habit you already have. For example, after you make your coffee, you write for 10 minutes.
- Be specific
Research by Gollwitzer and Sheeran found that deciding in advance exactly when and where you will do something (e.g., “I will go to the gym on Monday at 7am” rather than “I will exercise more”) had a positive effect on following through. Turning a vague intention into a concrete plan can help embed a new habit.
- Rejig your context
Our behaviors are shaped by our surroundings. Christakis and Fowler’s social-network studies found that behaviors including smoking cessation and exercise spread through social ties in measurable ways. The people around you shape what feels normal, possible, valued, and worth doing. Spending more time with people who embody the behavior you want to emulate is a useful habit to cultivate.
Checklist
Ask yourself the following questions to help identify your “blockers”:
- Am I clinging to something more than the thing I want to change?
- What am I not willing to give up?
- Do I frequently resolve to change a habit without following through?
- Do I tend to make the same vague promises to myself to stop or start doing something?
- Does the thought of adopting a new behavior make me feel uncomfortable (or even fake)?
Key takeaway
Changing habits and behaviors need not be as difficult as you think. Start small and follow through – you may be surprised at the results.
This article is based on a Substack post by Alyson Meister published June 06, 2026: Changing Yourself: Easier said than doneÂ
Authors
Related
Wasting time? Diagnose yourself
Diagnose time poverty with a practical leadership checklist that helps you decide what not to do and refocus on what truly matters....
How to put your negativity bias to good use
Learn to recognize when negative bias distorts judgment and use targeted strategies to balance signals at work....
Are you letting the machines decide your metrics?
AI can default to measuring whatever is easiest to find and simplest for another system to score, regardless of intent. Time for some human oversight, says Robert Vilkelis. ...
Learn Brain Circuits
Join us for daily exercises focusing on issues from team building to developing an actionable sustainability plan to personal development. Go on - they only take five minutes.
Â
Explore Leadership
What makes a great leader? Do you need charisma? How do you inspire your team? Our experts offer actionable insights through first-person narratives, behind-the-scenes interviews and The Help Desk.
Â
Join Membership
Log in here to join in the conversation with the I by IMD community. Your subscription grants you access to the quarterly magazine plus daily articles, videos, podcasts and learning exercises.
Â