You’re the leader – why are you talking? 

In discussions with team members, to what extent are you the one speaking?

• Pretty much all the time.
• Most of the time.
• I often find myself listening rather than talking.

How often do your reports ask you questions during meetings?

• Seldom – the purpose of meetings is to assert my authority.
• It does happen – but generally, it’s more important to get my point across.
• Frequently – I often listen first and speak later.

Which of the following describes your view best?

• I find pauses while I’m speaking unsettling and avoid them whenever possible.
• The occasional pause is fine, but long pauses during meetings are unhelpful.
• Silence is golden – I always give people time to absorb information.

How often do you feel you are not being heard?

• All the time – no matter how hard I try to get my point across, I see people switching off.
• Quite often – the younger generation doesn’t have a great attention span, so you have to repeat yourself multiple times.
• Almost never – I check with team members to make sure they’re with me before carrying on.

What your answers say about you

• Mainly As: You are definitely a leader who talks too much!
• Mainly Bs: You’re well-intentioned, but you’re working too hard to make yourself heard.
• Mainly Cs: You’re striking the right balance between listening and talking. You need read no further!

How to curb your enthusiasm for talking too much

Paradoxically, leaders often talk too much not out of egocentricity, but out of insecurity. Other reasons include lack of self-awareness, fear of silence, desire to appear in control, and poor communication skills. Whatever the reason – and remembering there are no quick fixes – here are some techniques to correct the habit:

Get feedback

Set up a well-structured, 360-degree process to get anonymous input from people at all levels. This will give you candid feedback on your communication patterns.

Log it

Record a significant meeting (with permission), estimate the percentage of time you spent talking, then review the recording to see how much airtime you actually used up. This will show you not just your talk time, but also team members’ reactions, revealing patterns you were previously blind to.

Role-play it

Develop active listening techniques through role-playing exercises. For example, simulate a team meeting in which you can only ask questions and paraphrase what others are saying. The “WAIT” principle – asking yourself, “Why Am I Talking?” before continuing to speak – is especially effective.

Use technology

Use AI meeting analytics tools to monitor speaking patterns. This will give you objective data on who is speaking and who is being interrupted. Remember: numbers don’t lie!