Reframing the role of anxiety in leadership 

It also helps to understand that anxiety is common. On any given day, over a third of Americans are diagnosed with anxiety, said Aarons-Mele, while the World Health Organization has classified it as the most common mental health disorder globally.  

There are a lot of tools that people can use to help manage their anxiety, ranging from cognitive behavioral therapy to mindfulness and breathwork to help relax and calm the nervous system. 

Spending our days staring at screens or scrolling on our devices has been shown to impact our breathing, said Aarons-Mele. Taking a break to practice a few minutes of intentional deep breathing, to tune into your pulse and your heartbeat, can help you come back to yourself. 

Digital drivers of anxiety 

While Aarons-Mele doesn’t think that we can be physically or neurologically more anxious than previous generations, she acknowledges that the digitization of our society that makes it harder for us to disconnect from what is happening in the world is driving our anxiety. 

“Social media was designed to trigger us. That’s the business model. And one of the interesting things that’s happened in work, especially post-pandemic, as most of us have moved to different schedules, we’re more hybrid. We’re more reliant on digital interfaces like Slack, Teams, email, and text, all of which are designed to keep us in a state of heightened arousal. So of course, we’re more anxious.” 

So, what can leaders do to help manage the anxiety of others? 

First, managers need to reflect on how they experience anxiety. “I think that it’s really important,   even if you don’t consider yourself an anxious person, to get introspective and to really understand your mind, body, and spirit as a leader,” she said.  

For many people, this can be uncomfortable because they weren’t raised in an environment or a culture where they were permitted to feel, while there is often a misconception that we are asking leaders to become therapists. Organizations need to provide managers with training to build skills to emotionally support their team members. This can be as simple as asking whether they feel energized or overwhelmed and what you as a manager can do to support them.  

Talk about the tough stuff 

Aarons-Mele’s work centers around changing our understanding of mental health and success and reducing the shame around the topic of mental illness and anxiety. While leaders often feel they need to be tough to maintain an air of competence, recent research shows that admitting your vulnerabilities can increase employees’ confidence in your abilities. 

Talking openly about your struggles can also be beneficial for your team. Aarons-Mele shared the case of Jimmy Horowitz, a senior executive at NBC Universal, who suffered through clinical depression in silence at work. When the pandemic broke open the mental health floodgates, Horowitz was asked to be the executive sponsor of a mental health task force, without his employer being aware of his mental health struggles. 

The request prompted Horowitz to come clean about his depression. This not only helped others feel more seen, but it also changed Horowitz’s attitude to leadership. Having been raised in the old-school Hollywood world, where employees didn’t go home before their boss, he realized he wanted to encourage his team to live their whole lives. 

Too often, leaders, especially high-achieving perfectionists, end up reaching a crisis point before they seek help, said Aarons-Mele. On the surface, they are swan-like, gliding calmly across the surface, but underneath they are paddling frantically. “They end up in hospital. They think that they are having a heart attack because they’re having panic anxiety that is so intense. They have burnout, and they turn to substances,” she said.  

By changing the narrative around leadership and debunking myths that you need to be invulnerable, Aarons-Mele is working to make sure that people learn to get help before they end up in crisis.