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You are not your role: how to be yourself in a new leadership position
Taking up a new leadership post can mean a dramatic shift in the way others see you – and how you define yourself. It’s vital to learn how to separate your true self from the demands and expectations of the role.
1. Reflect on how you take up your role
Ask yourself: How do I show up in my role? What personal beliefs, values, and experiences influence my approach? Are there ways I might unconsciously over-identify with the role, or disidentify from it?
2. Understand the purpose and culture of your organization
Consider how the organization’s mission, values, and culture shape expectations for your leader role. What unspoken rules or norms might be influencing your behavior? What are the spoken or unspoken rules of engagement for leaders in your environment? How can you demonstrate alignment to these?
3. Consider stakeholder perspectives
Reflect on key stakeholder perceptions and expectations for your role and assess how you are managing these. As you step into a new leadership role, it’s essential to understand how others perceive your role — and how you’re showing up in it. Your success isn’t just defined by what you do, but by how your key stakeholders experience your contribution. These might include your manager, peers, direct reports, and cross-functional partners. What do these stakeholders expect from you? How do they define success in your role? Where might there be a gap between your intent and your impact?
4. Discover your role relationship
Notice the overlap between your “self” and your role. Are there moments when the organization’s pressures feel at odds with your values or identity? Are there parts of your role where you truly feel yourself? Taking up a role requires balancing who you are as a person with the role’s demands. Leaders who over-identify with their roles risk burnout or losing their authenticity, while those who disidentify may become disengaged or ineffective.
5. Take agency: reframe and redefine
Sometimes, success in your role means redefining its boundaries — not just meeting expectations, but actively shaping them. That starts with understanding what you can and cannot do, given the energy, time, and resources you have. Reflect on which expectations you’re willing and able to meet, and where you may need to push back or realign.
Are there ways to better balance what’s expected of you with what you can sustainably deliver? Where might you be taking on too much, or losing yourself in the process?
Key learning
Leaders step into roles that they co-create with the organization. A better understanding of this relationship will help you to effectively manage the role’s tensions and challenges.
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