How to manage your emotions as a leader

Emotional regulation: positive vs negative reappraisal

Being able to regulate your emotions is fundamental to leadership. One type of emotional regulation is reappraisal, where you reframe how you interpret a situation or feel about it.

This can be done in a positive or negative way. In a positive reappraisal, you try to increase your positive emotions by changing the way you think about a situation. For example, following bad feedback from a client, a positive reappraisal could be to focus on positive feedback you’ve had from other clients.

In a negative reappraisal, you try to reduce negative emotions in response to the situation. For example, you might try to lower your negative emotions by focusing on how you can repair the relationship with the client. How you reappraise the situation changes not only how you think about it, but how you respond to it.

Positive reappraisal is better for wellbeing

Research shows that positive reappraisal works much better than negative reappraisal for increasing wellbeing – so it’s better to try and increase positive emotions after a negative event than to try to reduce negative ones. It’s also better to do this immediately following an emotionally stressful event than to “stew” on the event.

Research also suggests that both positive and negative reappraisal have the greatest impact on our wellbeing on days when more negative events occurred, and while we use reappraisals more on days when things go well, they benefit us most on the days when things aren’t going so well.

Three implications for leadership

This has specific lessons for leaders:

1. Be especially vigilant in reappraising your negative and positive emotions on days when things aren’t going so well.

2. Reappraise these emotions immediately following the negative event.

3. When managing others, be attuned to when they are having a bad day. Support them wholeheartedly – and share these tips on increasing positive emotions and decreasing negative ones!