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How to make your ‘imposter’ monster a trusted friend
Most of us have an inner demon that says, “You’re not good enough”. And, in an era when leaders are expected to question themselves and their decisions, imposter syndrome could be on the rise. But do you know what it actually is? Take this short quiz to test your understanding – and read on for some tips if the answers surprise you.
1. Is imposter syndrome:
a. A feeling of constant self-doubt;
b. The tendency to overthink; or
c. A form of perfectionism?
Answer: All of the above. The common perception of imposter syndrome is that it consists of feelings of fear and self-doubt, but all these behaviors are born of feelings of insecurity. Some research even suggests that high-achieving women are particularly affected.
2. Where is your ‘imposter monster’ located?
a. Inside your head;
b. In the room around you; or
c. Somewhere in your past?
Answer: It could be any and all of these ‘places’. In fact, trying to figure out where yours is located is the first step to mastering it.
3. What’s the best way to deal with the imposter monster?
a. By consciously shutting it down;
b. By comparing yourself with others and realizing they are no better than you; or
c. By taming the monster and making it your friend?
Answer: c. Surprising as it may sound, your imposter monster has good intentions. It’s healthy to sense-check yourself and your abilities from time to time. Research shows it can have other benefits, too, including the ability to be more ‘other-focused’ in social interactions, which is correlated with being more interpersonally effective.
Tips on taming the monster
1. Recognize your achievements
Routinely look back and recall what you have accomplished.
2. Check the reality
Find clear evidence to distinguish what’s true and positive from what’s false
and negative.
3. Avoid making comparisons
Accept that you are good enough right now as you are, and give yourself the freedom to try and to fail, allowing room to explore new ideas and possibilities.
4. Nurture your uniqueness
Dig into your experiences and extract the things that make you different from anyone else.
5. Connect with others
Seek feedback from trusted friends, family, or colleagues and talk about your feeling of imposterism. You will likely notice others have theirs, too.
6. Reframe your thoughts
Remember that your doubts and uncertainties can be used as fuel for growth. Develop a more positive narrative and self-fulfilling prophecy around success.
Key takeaway
It’s normal to experience self-doubt and to question your abilities. The key is to build a healthier dialogue with your inner monster. And remember: if you find yourself questioning whether you’re an imposter, you’re not. A true imposter would never ask the question!
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