âOur responses as leaders impact the conversations that we have in our organizations â and the behaviors that people adopt.â
Mental well-being is critical for individuals, communities, and organizations, yet despite the lifting of taboos around mental health in society, employees are feeling less cared for than ever. So why are we still reluctant to talk openly about our mental well-being at work?
Leaders can play a critical role in facilitating these conversations by speaking up about their own experiences and encouraging others to do the same.
Megan Reitz, Associate Fellow at SaĂŻd Business School at the University of Oxford and co-author of Speak Out, Listen Up: How to Have Conversations That Matter,âŻidentifies a syndrome that, despite leadersâ best intentions, often deters people from having vital conversations around mental health.
âMy research over the last 10 years shows that, as you get more senior or into a more powerful position, even in a non-hierarchical organization, you are likely to go into what we call an optimism bubble,â she said. âThis means youâll overestimate the degree to which people are speaking up around you. Youâll overestimate your listening skills and overestimate how approachable you are. Leaders might think that theyâre having good conversations in the workplace and that their door is always open; hence, they assume that people can speak up about the things that concern them. This isnât necessarily true.â
Reitz believes this optimism bubble is the first thing that needs to be tackled to provide an environment in which people feel comfortable voicing their concerns. âLeaders need to realize that they may have to do a lot more work than they think to help people feel at ease and speak up,â she explained. âHow we respond when people speak up about mental health determines whether somebody else will speak up afterward. All it takes is for a leader to look puzzled, frustrated, or unsure when somebody brings up a tricky topic and that will land in everyoneâs minds. People will think, âRight, we wonât talk about that again.â Our responses as leaders impact the conversations that we have in our organizations â and the behaviors that people adopt.â
The problem is that we are inside an âincreasingly a broken systemâ where the instrumental gaze has got out of control and our focus on the doing and on short-term targets means we are squeezing out other conversations that are needed if we are to set up an organization that enables us to flourish.
One way to guard against this tendency, Reitz says, is to create âspaciousness.â This means giving people the sense of a space where they can have âthe conversations that matter inside pathologically busy organizations.â This draws on the concept of two orientations that people tend to have in organizations: the instrumental gaze and the relational gaze. âIn an instrumental gaze, we see ourselves as separate, fragmented, and a utility â a means to an end. The focus is on short-term, tangible targets. The other frame is the relational gaze, where we have a broader perspective. We see our interdependence and our relationship with one another. We make very different choices depending on what gaze we have in the organization.â
The problem is that we are inside an âincreasingly a broken systemâ where the instrumental gaze has got out of control and our focus on the doing and on short-term targets means we are squeezing out other conversations that are needed if we are to set up an organization that enables us to flourish. âThe more that we end up focusing on this instrumental gaze, the less we end up being able to allow relational conversations,â says Reitz. âWe canât meet mental health issues just with instrumental processes â we need to question the whole way we look at work. It comes down to [the big questions]. What are we doing here? Whatâs the point? Why are we working together, and what is the point of my leadership? Itâs through these crucial questions that we start to have the kind of relationships and the kind of conversations that help at work.â
When we donât talk about that, we tend to feel, âItâs just me. Iâm the one. I missed a deadline. I failed.â But this is all normal and natural, so letâs normalize it.
Amy Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School and author of⯠The Fearless Organization, offers five insights into unlocking mental health in the workplace. Her first is to reframe reality. âLetâs get ahead of peopleâs automatic assumptions of what leaders expect or what the job is like,â she said. âWe need to set expectations to fit reality. The world is complex, uncertain, and volatile. When we donât talk about that, we tend to feel, âItâs just me. Iâm the one. I missed a deadline. I failed.â But this is all normal and natural, so letâs normalize it. Letâs destigmatize it. Letâs embrace that reality together. We should talk about it and make it discussable all the time.â
Connected to this is the advice to âdouble downâ on purpose and meaning. âOne of the biggest factors in reduced mental health is the sense that you donât matter,â Edmondson explained. âIt might be because you think what youâre doing doesnât matter or isnât noticed by customers, clients, or more importantly, colleagues. Mattering to the world, each other, and the people you encounter every day is part of health. Itâs part of being human. Itâs part of what makes us want to get out of bed in the morning. We need to double down on talking about it. Why does it matter? Why does it matter that this organization exists or that this project exists? Why does what Iâm doing matter?â
Edmontonâs third injunction is to double down on community: âWe need robust, authentic relationships that are based on a realistic understanding and appreciation of each other and that help us be accountable with and for each other. Letâs build those kinds of robust relationships.â
Following on from this, she says, leaders need to build âscaffoldingâ to invite input. By this, she means that we need to put in place rituals â whether check-ins with each other or simply brainstorming sessions â that create the structure to speak up: âIt doesnât happen spontaneously. It needs help. It needs scaffolding.â
Edmontonâs fifth and final recommendation, not only for leaders but for everyone, is to master the pause. This means taking a breath before responding thoughtfully to what we hear â especially if itâs something we donât want to hear: âIf someone disagrees with an idea you care about, pause, breathe, and express interest. Roll up your sleeves and get into a higher-quality conversation as a result. Take a breath so that you can help yourself respond productively.â
Sims says the older generation is missing a piece of the toolkit to be able to work through this type of situation.
Peter Sims, best-selling author, philanthropist, investor, and founder ofâŻBLK SHP, is optimistic that a profound generational shift is underway and that talking about mental health will be destigmatized by a younger cohort of leaders. âLast year, I had a very challenging year,â he reveals. âFor the first time in my life, I experienced depression. I was open with people about this. On the one hand, I talked with some older people, including some CEOs in big organizations, and these guys were all men and didnât know what to do with my questions. Itâs a generational thing. They donât have the tools. They were used to saying, âJust tough through it.â The younger people I talked with who had experienced depression said, âJust be patient with yourself. Give yourself self-care. Youâll get through this.â Their advice was the right advice.â
Sims says the older generation is missing a piece of the toolkit to be able to work through this type of situation. âItâs not that they havenât gone through something similar â many of them have â but they have never been around anyone who could give them perspective. They just donât have the tools.â But he believes organizational change will happen because the younger generation has a different set of tools and experiences âto really drive lasting change.â
Edmondson argues that leaders need to end the stigma around mental health so that showing vulnerability is seen as a strength, not a weakness. âVulnerability is merely a fact,â she points out. âWe are all vulnerable to all the things coming at us that weâre unaware of at any given time. Itâs a strength to acknowledge that. It is a strength to say, âHereâs what Iâm unsure or anxious about. I need help from you. Vulnerability is only a weakness in a world that expects to run on time, expects predictability, and certainty. We donât live in that world.â
She cites Alan Mulallyâs turnaround of Ford Motor Company post-2006 as a great example of a leader modeling âproductive vulnerability.â âHe said to his team, âListen, weâre on track to lose $17bn this year.â That is a statement of vulnerability. He told them, âWe cannot keep going this way. There will be a point where they will shut us down. Letâs start telling the truth to each other.â Itâs a statement that the companyâs vulnerable, Iâm vulnerable. Itâs about discussing the reality [which means] modeling productive vulnerability.â
All four contributors agree on the crucial role of modeling on the part of leaders. For Edmondson, this means âshowing up as caring and passionate about the possibilities here but also being curious and humble. It means trying to build a team while being fully cognizant of reality, which means saying, âI canât do it alone. I need you. Iâm utterly dependent on you.â Great teams can use each otherâs strengths and weaknesses to interact candidly, to ask good questions, to argue their points carefully with as much evidence as they can muster, to listen, and to change their minds. The leaderâs first job is to build a great team at the top and model that teamwork, then other teams will start to emulate it.â
The right messaging is also crucial. Edmondson says this consists of ârepeated and truthful messages about purpose, about challenges, about what weâre up against, why it matters, why every one of you is needed to do this well â the right communications that engage and inspire. How we show up as leaders is so important.â
Reitz draws on her own experience of feeling truly anxious, which she likens to âbeing in a vortex where you canât even see that youâre in a vortexâ to urge us all to turn to people we know will help. âIâve learned over time to know when Iâm in that vortex, where my lifelines are â where the ropes are that I can grab hold of. Thereâs a handful of people I can wave at and say, âHelp! Iâm sinking.â They know, they get it. Thatâs so important â know who gets it and who will throw you a lifeline.â
This article was developed in collaboration with Thinkers50 from theirâŻMind MattersâŻseries of conversations between leading experts in the field of mental well-being at work.
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