Imagine this scenario:
Terry, the chief technology officer of a clean energy company, is heading to meet a potential new customer to negotiate the terms of a contract for developing intricate sensors for solar panels. Upon arriving at the partner’s headquarters, he enters the office of the Head of Electronics and is surprised to find a woman, Laura, greeting him. Due to cognitive biases, it is conceivable that he might unconsciously question her competence and authority. Any minor misstep or hesitation from Laura could quickly confirm his initial bias. Had Laura been a man, Terry might have been more lenient, understanding the need to refer to notes during sensitive contract negotiations.
This experience of having your legitimacy questioned isn’t exclusive to women working in male-dominated fields – it’s a common feature of any asymmetric negotiation scenario where one party wields greater (perceived) power than the other based on hierarchies, economic, cultural, or social capital, or physical strength. In such situations, success often depends on the negotiator’s ability to even out power imbalances from the outset, but how do you do that without antagonizing the counterpart?
In our experience, rebalancing power effectively involves two key approaches:
“As obvious as it might sound, when we feel at a disadvantage, we end up making more mistakes and missing opportunities. This, in turn, confirms the other's feeling of superiority and further decreases our confidence.”
The first challenge to address is how to regain your inner balance and remain calm and composed.
Self-awareness and empathy are important assets for any negotiator. These skills allow them to understand their counterpart’s reasoning, motives, and values and gauge the effect of their own words on the counterpart to immediately pivot if they see a change in the counterpart’s behavior. However, the self-aware negotiator is also prone to quickly detect hints of “contempt” when the counterpart questions the legitimacy. Spotting contempt, or even a dismissive attitude, can be very destabilizing.
As obvious as it might sound, when we feel at a disadvantage, we end up making more mistakes and missing opportunities. This, in turn, confirms the other’s feeling of superiority and further decreases our confidence.
Tool 1: Use your physiology to recover your mental focus
Tool 2: Evaluate your legitimacy
To switch your focus from problems to solutions, assess your five main sources of legitimacy. Reflect on which aspects might enhance or hinder their evaluation of you.
After evaluating these sources and how your counterpart views them, you can determine which aspects of yourself to emphasize or de-emphasize during the negotiation.
Keep in mind that cognitive biases about legitimacy and perception go both ways. For instance, someone who often feels underestimated may already expect their legitimacy to be challenged in a negotiation before they even meet with their counterpart. This tool helps you assess if the power difference is real or just perceived.
A lack of time for preparation is a common challenge in today’s busy world. This often goes both ways. Help yourself and the other person by recapping and aligning the basic information. Feeling unprepared can make you act and talk in a way that makes the other side feel superior and doubt your credibility; humbly highlighting your expertise and goals can help you relate to them.
Tool 1: Establish your basics
Go through your basics and write down the information you have. It will help you enter the negotiation more confidently.
In our experience, knowing your objectives and red lines is essential in such a scenario. You can further structure your thoughts, by answering the following questions:
Tool 2: Take time to understand your counterpart’s basics
A negotiation with imperfect knowledge is likely to fail. To bridge the gap, ask your counterpart to explain their perspective on the situation. Then, clarify the information you have and where you lack understanding. Admitting your need for more information creates empathy and fosters clearer communication, rather than making statements that don’t add up. Furthermore, admitting weakness is more likely to be seen as a sign of strength than showing insecurity without labeling the problem.
Lastly, we are often asked if it is better to voice out the legitimacy issue or to indirectly prove it as the conversation unfolds. Like in all complex situations, there is no clear yes/no answer; it depends on the situation.
Tool 1: Label emotions and put them aside
In negotiations, perceived power imbalances can stir up emotions for both sides. Through empathy, you will be able to detect and acknowledge someone’s feelings. By labeling them, you show understanding. This can ease tension and build trust and cooperation. Labeling emotions can encourage the other party to share more information, leading to a better agreement for everyone.
Similarly, suppose a feeling of insecurity overwhelms you because you can feel that your counterpart is questioning your legitimacy. In that case, you can also silently label your own emotions and put them aside to deal with them later.
Tool 2: Evaluate the value and impact of addressing a perceived power imbalance
These questions could further help you decide what to say:
Success in negotiations often depends on how negotiators respond to power imbalances and manage their own emotions and perceptions. By employing self-awareness, empathy, and strategic tools, negotiators can build trust, foster cooperation, and ultimately achieve mutually beneficial outcomes.
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