It’s one of the biggest conundrums facing leaders today: how do you balance approachability while maintaining your authority? To empower your team to produce their best work, you need to encourage them to speak up and be creative while maintaining accountability to ensure the project doesn’t overrun. In a quest to balance the two, leaders sometimes swing between a “command and control” management style (issuing orders and checking up) and being overly nice. This is not only confusing for your team, but risks coming across as dishonest. The trick in overcoming the approachable/authority paradox is holding your authority with authenticity. In this article, I outline seven leadership behaviors that will help you to lead with care and courage.
Distinguish between authenticity and niceness
The mistake many leaders make is confusing authenticity and niceness. Authentic leaders are consistent, transparent, and emotionally intelligent, creating an atmosphere of trust and credibility. Niceness, on the other hand, can be seen as a form of lying and betrays a fear of conflict. It may involve withholding negative feedback or making concessions that undermine your authority. Instead, leaders need to practice kindness, which is based on respectfully speaking the truth even when that feels uncomfortable. Being kind is an essential component of good leadership whereas being nice isn’t. It might temporarily send you to the top of the popularity charts, but it can harm your chances of leading effectively in the long run.
Take the example of John, a team leader in an investment firm who has a reputation for being excessively nice to his team. He avoids confrontation and often makes concessions to keep everyone happy. One day, a critical project is at risk of failing since several team members have not met their deadlines. Instead of addressing the issue and holding the individuals accountable, John gives an extension and takes on additional work himself. This decision, while well-intentioned, ultimately undermines his leadership authority. The team perceives him as inconsistent and lacking assertiveness in upholding project standards. Over time, the team realizes that they need a leader who can make tough decisions, provide honest feedback, hold people to account, and ensure standards are maintained. They need someone who can be kind and tough.
Build trust
Trust is the cornerstone of an authentic leader and is built by being true to yourself and to your principles. An authentic leader listens actively, shares personal experiences, is emotionally available, and admits mistakes. Such authenticity fosters psychological safety and open communication. This encourages team members to have confidence in their leader’s intentions and abilities. Trust, in turn, leads to stronger relationships, loyalty, and a willingness to follow the leader’s guidance.
Communicate effectively
Clear and open communication is vital in high-stakes situations. Authentic leaders communicate with clarity, empathy, and honesty, creating a safe space for team members to express themselves. They also listen to feedback and input from their team – reducing misunderstandings, conflicts, and human error. Clear communication ensures that team members understand the leader’s expectations and work toward common goals.