Want to be a great leader? Be your own case study

Anyone who’s been to business school knows case studies are classic teaching tools for sharpening analytical skills. In my classroom, however, there’s only one case study: you.

Whether it’s the loss of a parent, a ruthless boss who leaves you to sink or swim, or a sibling who never lets up, our past experiences shape how we show up at work. While past traumas often get the spotlight, a cushy upbringing can be just as defining – those who faced little hardship growing up often struggle most with setbacks.

In 25 years of running an executive education program designed to develop high-performance leaders, I have observed countless examples of unresolved loss and grief derailing leadership potential. There was the executive who lost his father at a young age and assumed the role of head of the household by default, learning to put everyone else’s needs above his own. And the overindulged child whose parents failed to set boundaries, leaving him expecting the world to pander to him, too.

Most people bury these experiences and don’t learn from them. This repression can manifest in impatience, angry outbursts, or an inability to trust your team. Yet trust is a crucial foundation of high-performance leadership: 93% of business executives say building and maintaining trust improves the bottom line, according to PWC’s 2024 Trust Survey.

To avoid falling foul of these emotional triggers and the unhelpful leadership behaviors they foster, you must understand how your past shaped you.

Let’s take myself as a case study. I grew up on a farm in Ohio and at 13, I was sent to a Catholic seminary with the goal of becoming a priest. While I have many positive memories of my religious education, I endured the loss of a “normal” adolescence and, after eight years, the experience turned into a negative ordeal when I couldn’t face the truth that I wanted to leave. Hostage to conflicting emotions, I was paralyzed by indecision until a confidant at the seminary told me I was free to choose to do what I wanted. This trial was what pioneering leadership thinker Warren Bennis has described as one of the “crucibles of leadership” – an intense, often traumatic, experience that rewires your brain and transforms your life.