How to get up fast after you fall

Minor shifts in your attitude and habits can help sustain major boosts and build your long-term resilience. 

Starting new habits – that’s what January is all about, isn’t it? There’s never a year when starting something new is a bad call, yet, this year with the new variants constantly changing our scenarios, resolutions seem more important than ever, and even more vulnerable to being abandoned mid-way. 

Faced with wearying uncertainty, the number of Americans who describe their mental health as “excellent” held firm at a two-decade low of 34%, according to a Gallup poll conducted last November. In the UK, around one in six adults experienced some form of depression in the summer of last, compared with about 10% before the pandemic. 

While it may be tempting to set grand ambitions about how to “COVID- proof” your resilience and build unshakable inner peace, the key is often to start small. In her book Micro-Resilience, Bonnie Saint John describes how adopting minor shifts can help create major boosts in what matters to us. 

In this article, I discuss three ways to surf the waves: the impact of your attitude, how assessing your resilience improves it and how micro-resilience can make it easier to thrive every day. 

1. Attitude: how fast do you get up after you fall? 

What is your go-to attitude when things take a disappointing turn?  In an inspirational TED Talk, Saint John shares an experience of when she won a silver medal for ski racing at the Austrian Paralympics. During her race, she stumbled and fell. Nonetheless, she picked herself up, and skied past the finish line second – after another skier who had also fallen during the race. The other contestant didn’t beat her by not falling, Bonnie says: she beat her by standing up faster. 

These words struck a chord with me, and maybe they do with you, too.When we are running towards our goal, the last thing we want to do is stumble. Yet, when we do, it’s up to us to decide how long we wait until we stand back up again. This echoed what, in my experience, is also true about how we manage our energy: the key is how we recharge our five batteries it is not about keeping them full all the time. 

What helps you to get up faster? My clients who work in the humanitarian field know that getting up faster often means saving more lives, and their strategies can work just as well for leaders.  

One of my clients, Leila, worked in refugee camp. When her team had to weather change, she found it helpful to describe it out loud in a deliberately calm voice. She would use this voice switch when she had to share news such as, “The food trucks are now delayed and tomorrow night we might not have enough for everybody. What are our options?” This strategy helps her to regain confidence and shifts her focus on solutions. 

Carlos focused on regularly gathering his team together for discussion and planning, since shifting his focus beyond himself strongly motivated him to keep going. For Ashraf, the opposite worked: he would spend at least five minutes alone, and, when possible, go for a short walk – something that might not seem so obvious in a war-zone. Elena had photos of the children she had met and saved and used these visual cues to remember “why”. 

We all have something that can help us to get up faster and foster our resilience – we just need to identify and implement them more deliberately. 

2. How do you maintain your resilience? 

What comes to mind when you think of “resilience”? Chances are, it conjures up images of big life events, episodes of hardship, and turning points – not small changes that we consciously set-up to alter our day-to-day.  

Resilience refers to our ability to learn from tough situations and bounce forward with renewed confidence and trust. It manifests in various traits that we’re all familiar with, like persistence, confidence, social support or adaptability.  

Leila expressed it by her ability to quickly switch her emotional state; Carlos connected to it by reaching out to his team; Ashraf enriched it by being alone, and Elena triggered it by memories of past success. 

Even if resilience has general traits, like those mentioned above, each of us has unique ways to mobilize it. I found that taking a self-assessment, such as these ones listed by psychologist and professional leadership coach Dr Stefani Yorges, is a very effective starting point to identify where our attitude is helpful and where we can strengthen  it. 

I often review the Resiliency Quiz designed Dr. Al Siebert, author of The Resiliency Advantage and The Survivor Personality. 

When I suggested the test to three of my clients: 

• Leila realized that she needed to be more mindful of her emotional state holistically, not only when she felt under pressure. In the refugee camp the options were limited, so she started listening to music to recharge. 

• Carlos decided to build on his natural social skills and reached out to more experienced colleagues about how they went through tough moments. 
• Elena scored very highly in the assessment, and this discovery boosted her confidence in the attitudes that she, until then, had considered obvious. She started mentoring within her organization, further improving her skills. 

It’s straightforward enough to talk about – but even after the test – how do you put these ideas into practice? 

3. Five ways to develop micro-resilience 

Micro-resilience refers to implementing small changes that have transformative effects – or, as the subtitle of Saint John’s book puts it, “minor shifts for major boosts in focus, drive and energy”.  

When we’re weathering periods of uncertainty our attitude and daily habits become even more pivotal in helping us thrive. That’s why it’s valuable to see resilience as a set of skills that you already have and can actively build every day – not just something that grows through big events. 

Saint John describes five ways to increase and sustain micro-resilience:  

• Refocus your brain

When your attention is being pulled in every direction for too long a time, it’s natural to feel your mind grow dulled. Try creating zones to block out distractions to concentrate better. Your zone can be physical – like a specific workspace – or psychological, like blocking out time on your calendar to avoid interruptions. Multitasking is a big habit for a lot of us, too – so be mindful on the effect it has on you and cut it down. 

•  Soothe your primitive alarms

Sometimes our brain is hijacked by strong emotions, similar to a fight for survival when in reality your boss just gave you an unrealistic deadline. Try calming down by labeling your feelings: saying “I’m angry” or “I’m feeling frustrated”. 

•  Reframe your attitude

Brighten up that negative attitude by reversing the frame. Write down a limitation on one side of a card. Next, write the opposite statement on the other side. Even something this simple can trick your brain into seeing opportunities you’ve not considered before. 

• Refresh your body

Increase your brain’s efficiency with hydration and proper nutrition. The brain is made up of more than 70% water, so without hydration, it works far less well.  

• Renew your spirit  

Make a list of the 10 to12 new situations that you would like to create in your life. Then, circle what’s most important to you. Keep doing this until you have your top three goals. You might be surprised by what you discover. 

If you want to delve even deeper, check out Monday8am’s article on the five areas, featuring more examples. 

I hope these practical tips and techniques will help you to reset your attitude and build small fortifying habits that will prepare you to weather the inevitable ups and downs and ensure any setbacks remain temporary.