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    Diversity, Equity and Inclusion

    Five ways to be an ally to your LGBTQ+ colleagues 

    by Luis Ornelas Published 16 June 2023 in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion • 6 min read

    A bad experience with just one colleague can negatively impact whether an LGBTQ+ person feels safe at work. Luis Ornelas, a member of the IMD MBA class of 2023, offers his advice on how to support and make sure LGBTQ+ employees feel included in the workplace. 

     Nobody likes people gossiping about their private lives at work. When it happens to a person who is LGBTQ+, it can feel even worse.  

    Early in my career, I was working as a consultant organizing healthcare conferences across the United States, and part of my role involved building relationships with speakers. During one particular conference, a speaker with whom I had struck up a particularly good rapport pulled me aside and said my line manager had been questioning my sexuality with other speakers. I was horrified. Not only was this deeply unprofessional, but it made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and unsafe to have my manager discussing my identity with clients. 

    I eventually went to HR about the matter. They responded supportively, but I ended up leaving the company to take up a new job before the matter was resolved. 

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    While I am “out” at work, this doesn’t mean I declare my sexuality immediately every time I meet someone. Instead, this is disclosed in casual conversation over time. A colleague might enquire about my partner, and I’ll tell them about my husband. Some people act surprised and say nothing, while others use it as an opportunity to learn more. 

    Worldwide, 67 countries continue to criminalize homosexuality, and 11 impose the death penalty for private, consensual, same sex activity. At IMD, several of my classmates in the MBA program come from one of these countries. But they have shown themselves to be open, empathetic, and curious to learn. I’ve been struck by how many people have asked whether I feel included during certain group activities. Several have shared their sadness about friends or acquaintances who were gay in their countries and had to leave for their safety.  

    If we are to reduce rates of stigma and discrimination in the workplace, it is important for everyone to be supportive, respect the rights of, and advocate for their LBGTQ+ colleagues. Here are some reflections from my personal experience on how you can do this: 

    • 1. Be open to learn, listen, and educate yourself
      Part of being a supportive colleague means gaining a better understanding of the struggles LGBTQ+ individuals may face. For those interested in learning more, I would encourage them to approach an LBGTQ+ colleague and ask them questions respectfully. Pick your time wisely. This is obviously not something you should do in a meeting, but rather in a one-on-one situation where both sides feel comfortable. Be aware of your tone and reactions, too. If someone is willing to share and answer your questions, they don’t want to feel like they are being attacked. For me personally, while I do try to keep my work and personal lives separate, when I see that someone is trying to educate themselves, I don’t mind being that bridge. While I’m not a spokesperson for the entire community, I am always happy to point people in the direction of helpful resources if they ask.
    • 2. Speak up when you see unconscious bias in the workplace
      Have your colleague’s back. To be a consistent LBGTQ+ ally, you need to be willing to defend them against discrimination and stigma. If you witness someone making harmful comments, jokes, or talking negatively about someone in the LGBTQ+ community, speak up and let them know that you personally find this offensive. It’s so easy for people to say that they are here for you, but when others talk, they do nothing. Instead try shutting down those conversations or asking, “Have you taken the time to get to know them?” Even if the organization a person works for does a lot to promote inclusivity, there can be certain individuals who may – inadvertently or otherwise – make LGBTQ+ employees feel unsafe or disrespected because of their actions or words. This shows that it’s up to everyone to make a commitment to stop discrimination when you see it happening.
    • 3. Push for the rights of LGBTQ+ colleagues
      When I worked for a non-profit organization in Washington DC, they tried hard to create safe spaces for everyone, and make it clear that people would not be punished for expressing who they truly are. Another way they made me feel I belonged was by having an inclusive benefits system. For example, my husband was covered by my health insurance, and they offered paid parental leave for both parents regardless of gender, which was rare back then. To be an ally, it’s important that you compare your rights and benefits in the workplace with those of LGBTQ+ people, and, if you see discrepancies, think about how you can use your voice to close that gap.
    • 4. Promote safe spaces and networking groups within organizations
      For me, one of the biggest challenges as I navigate my career has been the lack of openly LGBTQ+ role models in the upper ranks of management, or the C-suite. As a result, it’s been hard to find those mentors, and people I could turn to for advice to ask, “Was this a struggle, and did you also have to deal with this?” or “Someone says x or y. Is that okay? Do they mean it this way or another way?” It would be valuable to have smaller, intimate networking groups within an organization, a safe space where LGBTQ+ people can connect and freely share their experiences. If you are a board member or C-suite executive who happens to be LGBTQ+, I would encourage you to reach out to other employees lower down the organization, and act as a mentor for an individual or a smaller group of people.
    • 5. Respect people’s privacy, and ask for guidance
      With rhetoric towards sexual and gender minorities growing increasingly hostile in parts of the world, it has become more important than ever to support your friends and colleagues in the LGBTQ+ community. At the same time, if someone does not feel comfortable discussing their sexual or gender identity with you, please respect their boundaries. A nice follow-up question could be, “I respect your wishes. Do you have a recommendation as to where I can learn more?” This invites the person to direct you towards certain websites or books, while keeping their own experience private.

    Authors

    Luis Ornelas

    2023 IMD MBA Candidate

    Luis F. Ornelas is a 2023 IMD MBA Candidate. He has 9 years of experience in healthcare industry in consulting, strategy, and operations. His expertise has been leveraged by US federal government, nonprofit organizations, and private firms. His ambition is to apply his skills to the Cleantech sector to make a meaningful impact and contribute to a sustainable future.

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    Inclusive Leadership

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    From confronting bias to achieving breakthrough: unleash the power of inclusive leadership.

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